THE FACADE
“You can’t fix dysfunction with dysfunction.” — A.K.
From an early age, I allowed the influences of the world to shape the desires of my heart. As I grew older and found success in the creative industry, pride, ambition, and the pursuit of pleasure slowly became my public identity. I was entrusted by a creative agency in Miami, Florida, to work with celebrities, business owners, and other high-profile clients. It gave me a small taste of influence, recognition, and opportunities that many aspiring creatives dream about.
Outwardly, it appeared that I had everything together. Inwardly, I was falling apart and drifting further away from the biblical values my parents had faithfully taught me from childhood. Looking back, I can clearly see that the enemy was leading me away from the purpose for which God had created me.
Even my outward appearance reflected the world I admired. I wore jewelry, extremely skinny jeans, oversized hats, and spent money extravagantly, believing image, fashion, and status would bring fulfillment. I found my identity in how I looked rather than in whose I was. I was conforming to culture instead of allowing Christ to transform me from within.
The lust for pleasure that controlled my life did not begin overnight. It had been growing for years, and when the opportunity presented itself, it manifested publicly. My sinful choices damaged my own life and deeply hurt others in the process. I pursued alcohol, sexual immorality, selfish ambition, unhealthy competition, and the love of money, believing success and pleasure would finally satisfy me.
They never did.
Looking back, I realize these behaviors were symptoms of wounds I had never properly addressed—exposure to pornography in elementary school, experimenting with drugs beginning in high school, obsession with entertainment, tattoos, partying, reckless driving, and many other poor choices that gradually shaped my character. Later, I was deeply affected by my brother’s illness, my family being separated because of work, the deaths of my dear friends Marc and Jonathan, disappointments in my career, a failed marriage, and many other painful experiences that I choose not to share publicly.
Through it all, my greatest mistake was relying on my own wisdom instead of God’s. The result was spiritual emptiness. No amount of alcohol, unbiblical relationships, parties, recognition, or money could purify my heart or give me lasting peace. Instead of allowing my failures to drive me to Christ, I often used them as excuses to remain in destructive habits. Every day I wrestled with emptiness, loneliness, shame, guilt, and an endless desire for more.
Then God brought me to complete surrender.
In late 2019, before the COVID-19 lockdown, I experienced a moment I will never forget. After a night of partying and sin, The following morning, feeling completely empty, a question impressed itself on my heart:
“Are you happy now?”
I paused and answered honestly:
“No.”
Immediately, my attention was drawn to the study Bible my father had given me years earlier. It sat on my television stand—the only thing in my apartment pointing me toward God. I broke down and wept.
Everything I had been taught as a child came rushing back. I realized how far I had drifted from the Lord—breaking His Sabbath, abusing my body through unhealthy living and substance use, walking in sexual immorality, chasing success, and searching everywhere except in Christ.
I prayed a simple prayer:
“Lord, help me!”
I accepted His call to come out of spiritual Babylon and follow Him completely.
When the world shut down in 2020, what many saw as disruption became God’s classroom for me. The silence of the lockdown gave me what I had long neglected—the opportunity to seek Him without distraction. I read the Bible from cover to cover, and the Holy Spirit began transforming every area of my life.
God was not interested in simply improving my old life; He was making me a new creation. He began changing my desires, priorities, habits, entertainment, health, finances, appearance, and relationships. For the first time, I understood that true conversion is not merely changing what we believe, but allowing Christ to transform who we are. I had a lot confessions and apologies to make and by God’s grace, though painful, I did, and if I missed anyone and you are reading this blog post, please reach out. I lost a lot of relationships but I am happy to do the will of God.
Through it all, I came to see that only Jesus could satisfy what I had been trying to fill with everything else. He revealed His infinite worth and the immeasurable value He placed on me by paying a debt for sin I could never pay.
Today, by God’s grace, my desire is to be a faithful husband, a godly father, a devoted teacher, and a faithful evangelist. My ministry is centered on preparing the younger generation to live wholeheartedly for Christ from their youth—not wasting precious years chasing the empty promises of this world, but looking to Jesus, allowing Him to transform their character, equip them for His service, and reflect the beauty of His holiness.
I am not who I used to be.
But by His grace, I am not yet who I will become.
Focusing on the outward appearance is just a facade. Let Christ into the heart and you will radiate His beauty outwardly.
